Salaams my dear readers... I haven't written anything for at least a year and I am so glad to have managed to get myself back here. The past 18 months have been very interesting for me, I''ve managed to push my career to somewhere a lot closer to my goals, with Allah s guidance alhamdulillah.
I have had some incredible things come my way, including being invited to donate an outfit to the Museum of London as it illustrates the change in muslim fashion today. SubhanAllah. I will have to create an entire entry on the matter though as it isn't what brought me here today.
I recently found myself pondering over the changes I have seen in myself since turning to Islam and how , many of these aspects may be surprising and unexpected.
The first noticeable change for me has been with my fashion and clothing. Being a muslimah has made me prouder of being female. It has empowered me emotionally to connect with my feminine side. I hadn't really thought of this until I was actually looking at the outfits I was donating to Museum of London. I noticed a vast array of creams, pinks, pastels, sheer fabrics, lace and pearls. Some very feminine items. The funny part is I used to hate pink with a passion. I didn't hate it on others or in nature but I didn't want it associated to me. Why? I think partly because I am blonde. I didn't want to fall into the stereotype of a Barbie doll. I didn't want to be missjudged as stupid or superficial. So I stayed very clear away from the colour.
Somehow, now that I am Muslim, I have come to love pink. One reason is that with a headscarf I can never be associated to a barbie again, I have stood up to my beliefs and shown the intellect behind it. The second reason is that under my headscarf, my hair can be whatever colour I want, if people want to judge me, it will be on my Hijab and nothing else. The fact I am now also a wife has helped me channel my feeling of being a woman in the truest sense of the word. Alhamdulillah, I feel really blessed . I have also gained the understanding that my body belongs to Allah, and this has made me respect myself more. I am taking greater care of it.
An other aspect of me which has changed is my interest in politics and speaking up for women rights and for the missrepresented . I am not an argumentative person and put me in a group of more than 4 people and I go quiet. However, with Islam, I have grown more passionate about certain issues and have found myself wanting to make a stand against injustices. It's also made me want to get into politics and help create a better environment for Britons. We have sat back and watched to government shred the economy to pieces, along with our trust in them and the environment.
I guess the right way to phrase this is that Islam has empowered me and given me the confidence to be myself. 5 years ago I would have been incapable of speaking in public. 2 months ago I spoke to just under a hundred sisters about using the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) as a role model to help inspire our youth.
The newest aspect of my development has been to realisation of how green I am willing and trying for my life to be. Mainly inspired by May s issue of Sisters Magazine about the Green lifestyle... I got so excited reading all these articles about looking after the earth, recycling and responsible homing. I have devoured the magazines' articles and this has inspired me for my next talk at Turning Point Inshallah.
Do I miss anything from my life before or the old me?
Do I crave anything I haven't got?
Yes, two things. Motherhood and a better practice of my faith Inshallah things which will come in good time.
I am looking forward to the other paths this journey will uncover....